to go or not to?

have been contemplating if i should go for alumni band.
every Saturday evening..
I'm not sure if i have the commitment.
moreover, i have only a few close friends who are band peeps.
they are all in JC and are mugging like mad.
we were once the can't-wait-to-leave-band gang.
needless to say, they wouldn't even bother going back at all.

yet now, i want to go back..
to participate in some band activities..
but i just lack those friends like Steven and SiMin to go back!



sometimes i just didn't want to think or plan too far ahead.
what if things don't happened the way i wanted?
that's the thing I'm afraid of..
in the end, i will only be hurting myself.